Remember this quote on the rough days, when you feel like you're at the end of your rope:
"Your baby is having a hard time, he isn't giving you a hard time"
For the first..hmmm...3 months? you will get no emotional connection from your child. They don't socially smile yet or offer any reassurance that yes, they do in fact love you and know you are their momma.
Know when to put the baby in the crib, close the door, and call in back up.
It is 100% okay to love your child fiercely, but kind of hate being a mom sometimes.
After all, it is the hardest, most under-appreciated, and exhausting job you will ever have. I teach, and let me tell ya, being a stay at home mom was a million times harder than going to work.
Postpartum depression is very common and nothing to be ashamed about. It really does affect more moms than you think.
No one else gets a say in what happens at your birth. You carried the kid for 9 months, you're the one on the table, whatever you want is what you should get. It's a traumatic experience and quite frankly I find it strange that some people view it as an event they are entitled to be there for. And if your significant other is not respectful of your wishes, you may kick him/her out.
Do all the cute fun stuff. Gender reveal parties, diaper bashes, maternity pictures, etc. You can't go back and fit them in. I so regret not celebrating my pregnancy more.
I used to HATE when people told me to "get my sleep" while I was pregnant. You are huge and uncomfortable, getting kicked in the ribs, and waking up to use the bathroom every hour...but this is nothing girlfriend.
There is no tired in the world that compares to "I'm tired because I have a child" tired. I take back any moment I claimed I was tired in my pre-Oliver life. I. Had. No. Clue.
If you are pregnant, right now you know exactly what type of parent you will be. Exactly how your birth will go. Whether you're formula feeding or breastfeeding. Where the baby will be sleeping. If you will use a pacifier or not. You have a system in mind.
You know nothing.
I knew nothing.
I still pretty much know nothing.
I knew nothing.
I still pretty much know nothing.
Trust me when I say you will do whatever it takes to simply get through the day.
Read the parenting books while you're pregnant. I really liked "Bringing Up Bébé" (Thanks Rach!)
Read the parenting books while you're pregnant. I really liked "Bringing Up Bébé" (Thanks Rach!)
This was our plan:
Baby will sleep in the bassinet.
I was determined to make breastfeeding work.
He would NEVER ever watch TV! The horror…
This is our life:
Oliver currently sleeps in our bed.
Breastfeeding has been awesome.
We watch T.V. everyday.
Baby will sleep in the bassinet.
I was determined to make breastfeeding work.
He would NEVER ever watch TV! The horror…
This is our life:
Oliver currently sleeps in our bed.
Breastfeeding has been awesome.
We watch T.V. everyday.
On that note, I would like to apologize to any parent I ever privately (or publicly) judged. Once again, I knew nothing.
Anyone who has kids is going to give you their insight.
Hell, even the people who don't have kids are going to give your their insight.
People who have kids love the phrase: "All mine survived!" (my mother is the queen of this lol ;) Here's the big secret: they can have 6 kids that are all successful adults and guess what?
They still don't get to tell you how to raise yours.
They had their chance to raise theirs exactly as they wanted to. And now you get to do the same.
Regardless of experience and years clocked in being a parent, YOU know your baby best.
Hell, even the people who don't have kids are going to give your their insight.
People who have kids love the phrase: "All mine survived!" (my mother is the queen of this lol ;) Here's the big secret: they can have 6 kids that are all successful adults and guess what?
They still don't get to tell you how to raise yours.
They had their chance to raise theirs exactly as they wanted to. And now you get to do the same.
Regardless of experience and years clocked in being a parent, YOU know your baby best.
People don't just know to wash their hands before holding a baby. You would think it is common sense..but no...apparently not…
This is YOUR child. And you get to do exactly as you wish. You want to breastfeed? sounds great. You want to formula feed? That works too. You want to use a bassinet? Awesome. Bed-sharing? That is your choice. Everyone is going to think they know how you should raise your child, but there is no right way.
Happy mothers are the best mothers. Take care of yourself. If you give breastfeeding a try and it makes you miserable, quit. If you just need a day to yourself, go do it.
Americans have this weird view that a mom who sacrifices everything, every moment, every piece of her pre-baby identity, is a great mom. Not the case.
If you are anything like me, you will be so ridiculously protective of your little love. Don't feel guilty or worried about other people's feelings. It is your job to protect your child first and foremost.
Don't be the judgy mom.
Within reason, most of us are just doing what we can to get by. You don't know their child, and you don't know their situation. So keep the lips zipped mmmkay?
For some reason I will never understand, people get offended when you make choices pertaining to your child that they do not agree with. Weird, I know.
People (*cough* my mother *cough*) told me I wouldn't need a changing table, a wipe warmer, diaper pail, or a baby monitor. Guess what I wound up purchasing….
Ollie did not like life outside the womb at first. Everything made him mad. The car seat, his swing, baths, being changed, me just sitting there…Seriously though, he was never happy!
He didn't go to sleep before 4 am for his first 3 months of life. Many times it was 6 am.
The doctor said he was a high needs baby and we needed to have help from family often.
He told us to have our parents watch him over night every other day.
We didn't do this because I couldn't deal with the thought of him not being with me.
(So for those of you that were oh so annoyed with us for whatever reason during this period, there is your explanation. We were dying of exhaustion and insanity)
I remember crying and thinking "How does everyone live like this? And why do people do it more than once!?" I even broke down at Oliver's 2 month appointment. The doctor reassured me that things would improve at 3 months. And they did. They aren't perfect by any means, but they are manageable.
This developmental milestone, and figuring Oliver's likes and dislikes were life changing. The moment I stopped doing everything I was "supposed" to do and started going with my instincts, everything got better.
Some days Oliver is easy going and I just have to lay down with him to get him to sleep. Others, I go through the swing, stroller, bouncer, rocking chair, driving, walking, nursing, begging, the list goes on and on. And he still will fight his sleep. He changes his mind about what he likes every single day I swear.
And that is what being a parent is.
You catch on. And then your kid changes for the millionth time, and you're lost all over again.
But dang,
those sweet little faces make it worth it.
Happy mothers are the best mothers. Take care of yourself. If you give breastfeeding a try and it makes you miserable, quit. If you just need a day to yourself, go do it.
Americans have this weird view that a mom who sacrifices everything, every moment, every piece of her pre-baby identity, is a great mom. Not the case.
If you are anything like me, you will be so ridiculously protective of your little love. Don't feel guilty or worried about other people's feelings. It is your job to protect your child first and foremost.
Don't be the judgy mom.
Within reason, most of us are just doing what we can to get by. You don't know their child, and you don't know their situation. So keep the lips zipped mmmkay?
For some reason I will never understand, people get offended when you make choices pertaining to your child that they do not agree with. Weird, I know.
People (*cough* my mother *cough*) told me I wouldn't need a changing table, a wipe warmer, diaper pail, or a baby monitor. Guess what I wound up purchasing….
Ollie did not like life outside the womb at first. Everything made him mad. The car seat, his swing, baths, being changed, me just sitting there…Seriously though, he was never happy!
He didn't go to sleep before 4 am for his first 3 months of life. Many times it was 6 am.
The doctor said he was a high needs baby and we needed to have help from family often.
He told us to have our parents watch him over night every other day.
We didn't do this because I couldn't deal with the thought of him not being with me.
(So for those of you that were oh so annoyed with us for whatever reason during this period, there is your explanation. We were dying of exhaustion and insanity)
I remember crying and thinking "How does everyone live like this? And why do people do it more than once!?" I even broke down at Oliver's 2 month appointment. The doctor reassured me that things would improve at 3 months. And they did. They aren't perfect by any means, but they are manageable.
This developmental milestone, and figuring Oliver's likes and dislikes were life changing. The moment I stopped doing everything I was "supposed" to do and started going with my instincts, everything got better.
Some days Oliver is easy going and I just have to lay down with him to get him to sleep. Others, I go through the swing, stroller, bouncer, rocking chair, driving, walking, nursing, begging, the list goes on and on. And he still will fight his sleep. He changes his mind about what he likes every single day I swear.
And that is what being a parent is.
You catch on. And then your kid changes for the millionth time, and you're lost all over again.
But dang,
those sweet little faces make it worth it.
