Dear Ollie,

You are one year old! I know everyone says "time flies," 

but having a child really shows you just how quickly the days pass.

Admittedly, when I first found out about you, I was scared, anxious, and upset. I wasn't sure about being a mom. I was back and forth about what I wanted to do. It was a really dark time for me, especially since I didn't even want kids. 

Then, I saw you on an early ultrasound. Just a tiny little blob. And I knew from that day on, I would spend the rest of my life loving you like I had never loved anything. 

Ironic that as soon as I became excited about you, and had accepted the fact that I was going to be a mommy, it was almost taken away from me. 

When you had been in mommy's belly for about 10 weeks, I started bleeding. 

The doctors told me I wouldn't carry you to term. I remember searching their faces for any sign that everything would be okay. I told myself "they're just over-reacting, they're just being cautious."

They all just looked very serious. A midwife told me that you could be born at 20 weeks. 

I searched for a picture of how you would look then.

The baby was so, so tiny. 

I cried and cried. I begged for you to not be taken away from me. 

And I promised that I would never ask for anything else. I was sorry for ever doubting that I needed you in the first place. I was convinced that this was my punishment for not being thankful for you from the very start. 

We made it to 20 weeks. And then it was 21, 22, and we kept making it farther and farther. Eventually, we had another ultrasound appointment. And believe it or not, you had grown so big and strong that you positioned yourself in the perfect place to force the bleed to heal and re-absorb.

So please, don't ever doubt that you are a miracle. 

That you are capable of anything.

That you are the decider of your own fate.

Because even as a tiny little human, growing in my tummy, you saved yourself. 

My heart was broken in a way that no one could have filled, except you.

Thank you for making me your mommy.

Happy First Birthday Ollie. Momma loves you.

11 Months of Oliver

Our baby love will be ONE next month!

Nicknames: Ollie, Oddles, Ollivander (HP reference, for you muggles)

Stats: I truthfully have no idea…enough to make my arm hurt after holding him? 

Favorite Food: I literally have not found one food he does not like. We usually do scrambled eggs made with cottage cheese instead of milk, toast with real butter, stonyfield yobaby, or plum organics blueberry banana oatmeal for breakfast. And the rest of the day he eats whatever I eat.
Also, our breastfeeding journey has come to an end! (But that's a whole post itself)

Favorite Toys: His busy board, (thank you, Pinterest) blocks, my makeup brushes, balls, duplo legos.

He is OBSESSED with the book "Vroom" and just books in general. Every night, when he knows it's story time, he points at the bookshelf. 

Enjoys: Crawling around getting into everything he shouldn't, screaming (in a happy way) when we are in public, growling at people, (yes, he really does this) throwing everything that winds up in his hands, being outside (his absolute favorite) and anything Tim Burton. Seriously. We have watched Coraline, Nightmare, and Corpse Bride approximately 5,000 times this past month. 

Sleeping: I don't even want to discuss this subject. That's how awful it is. I'm not sure how I've survived this past year...Wahhhh! 

Milestones: Crawling like crazy, points to things he wants, claps, stands for a few seconds by himself but refuses to walk! (Not mad because he is WILD and I know I'll be going nuts when he can run away from me)

Teeth: 4 on the top, 3 on the bottom. And using them to bite all the dang time. 

Big Events: His first Halloween is coming up, AND HIS FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!! We're doing a family costume theme that I'm super excited for! And I really wanted to have a "Where the Wild Things Are" theme for his birthday party, but it will probably wind up being Mickey Mouse. But I'm not 100% sure YET!
Oh, and his first "haircut"
AKA I decided to attempt this at home. We're getting it fixed this week. LOL

Dislikes: Anytime he doesn't have alllllll the attention, hats, socks, when he has to get out of the bathtub, the carseat, (a HUGE struggle, and we have tried everything to try to make this better for him) and being told "no"

Zoo Trips and... Life is Changing

This past weekend we finally took Oliver to the zoo for the first time. He is a very observant little boy, so things like this are perfect for him. The weather was beautiful, we spent time as a family, and it was just a great day!

Just keeping' it real with the daily meltdown

Also, life is changing for us! 

We have officially put our home on the market! This is such a bittersweet thing. It is Ollie's first home. It is where we learned how to be parents, and where he crawled for the first time. It has the most spectacular backyard and view, (nothing but trees and fields that look amazing in any season) and Mitchell made me my dream kitchen (all white) here. I truly love this place. But, after talking it over, we decided it was time for a bigger house.  It is incredibly difficult to choose a place to live! We find ourselves worrying most about the school district obviously, and the fact that our moms will be watching Oliver when I go back to work full-time.  

We've had some good times in our old house! I never got around to sharing Oliver's nursery, so here are a few pictures I found in my phone!

 I sent this to my best friend/ Ollie's fairy godmother...

And she made this: 

Isn't it crazy that some people are THAT talented!?

(Also, I am dying over my "drawing")

Ollie's collection of vintage children's books from my grandmother, a few of my old HP books, and handcrafted wooden animals Mitchell got while deployed to Africa

Wish us luck with selling our old house and building the new one!

8 Months of Oliver

Eight months.

My baby is 4 months away from being a one year old

The first 3 months dragged on and on, (the dark ages) but after that, time has flown by. Oliver has changed so much. Sometimes, with certain little faces he makes, or when he's sleeping, he reminds me of that tiny newborn babe he was just a short time ago. It's a bittersweet feeling. It is fascinating to see his personality develop and watch him learn new things. 

Nicknames: Ollie, Oddles, baby love

Stats: 20 lb, though it feels like a heck of a lot more!

and I believed he was 29 in. the last time we checked?

Wearing 12 month clothing 

Favorite Food: Milk, (still nursing, and 4 months away from our 1 year goal!!!) and pretty much anything we give him. He isn't a picky eater in the slightest. 

Favorite Toys: Anything that is not a toy. Example: baby wipes, my glasses, paper towels, remotes, random strings, makeup bag, shoes, kitchen utensils, and everything else he can get his hands on. Also, his baseball, football, soccer ball, and basketball. Favorite books are the ones with the buttons you can push for sounds, and Little Owl's Night, currently. 

Enjoys: Cuddling with mommy, playing with daddy, picking flowers, being outside, being out and about, standing up, bath time, the pool, the beach, (sand, specifically) playing basketball, getting into anything he shouldn't be, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, (he LOVES Mickey, like seriously borderline obsessed) and eating

Sleeping: Terribly, still. He wakes up at least twice a night. Usually more. I keep threatening to sleep train him, but I just can't do it. He naps usually twice a day (30-45 mins) and very rarely he will have a 1.5 hour nap 

Milestones: Says dada and mama, reaches for us/things he wants, pulls himself up using furniture/us/whatever he can, rolls around and kind of moves himself, (but refuses to crawl still) plays peek-a-boo, can put his basketball through the hoop consistently, turns book pages, takes steps when we hold him up, walks around in his walker and sneaks into the cabinets, attempts to get into the trash, etc. 

Teeth: 2 on the bottom, 4 almost all the way through on top. And biting like a crazed animal. (Thankfully not during nursing. I think we'd be switching to bottles if he started that! ;)

Big Events: His first vacation with Momma and Daddy, Nana, Aunt Laura, and Uncle Derek! Hilton Head Island. The drive was TERRIBLE, but he loved it there! Definitely a little beach babe. He also got to adventure in the lighthouse in Harbor Town. Mitch wore him in the baby carrier up all those dang steps!

Dislikes: Pretty much any moment he is not in my arms, or I am not giving him my full attention. Such as now, as I type this post. The car/ his car seat. OMG I swear Ollie is the exception to every baby rule. Everyone said "Oh he'll love the car, all babies do!" NO! I am not  exaggerating when I say he has an absolute MELTDOWN every time we are in the car. And I've tried everything. He just hates it. And we're back to hating getting his clothes and diaper changed. Fun stuff! 

 And a photo shoot, of course! I love this set of pictures. It shows his happy, silly, adorable little personality so well.  (Oh, and excuse his orange mouth, he had just eaten sweet potatoes)